this past week has been a massive turn around. feel like i’ve fallen for someone. moving to china in 7 weeks. don’t know if i want to go to uni. i want to be happy. and i’m SO happy at the moment. every so often i just find myself smiling for no apparent reason. but I know why. GAH. age is stupid. societal expectation and rules are stupid. I am literally hungry for life. but i don’t think the life i had planned. this is extreme. maybe i’m in love. maybe i am caving to fear. or maybe i’m finally listening to myself. I don’t want to leave my job in 6 weeks. I don’t want things to have changed when I come back. but they will have. 31 - 19 FUCK. but I want it SO BADLY.
currently in bed having rung in sick to work…migraines suck. handing in my notice tomorrow though. then i’ll be down to one job again. needed a break so have enjoyed this past two days. but can’t help feeling guilty which is adding to the stress issue. so so so much preparation to do. need to do an practice essay as well and i’m so nervous it is insane. wish i had another offer…just for some security.
whenever people quote david icke i always think…’you do know he thinks the royal family (and various other people) are lizards?’ how can you quote a man who is quite clearly insane…? Though i guess you could identify with some things he says… hmm. SO much interview prep going on ATM